I had been through miscarriages, divorce, and caring for a parent with dementia. I was on edge, hypervigilant about what could go wrong, living with relentless anxiety, waking with dread, suffering panic attacks, overthinking, overworking, and exhausted.

I had been teaching elementary school for over 20 years, and was trying to achieve everything: best wife, best local volunteer, the teacher who volunteered for extra work. I was in constant fear, comparing myself to others, and never feeling that the over-achieving that I was doing, was good enough. Financial stress was mounting, and my marriage was falling apart. I was never disconnected from my devices, yet I felt extremely alone.

I numbed myself with food, always being busy, and late-night TV. I dreaded getting out of bed in the morning. I did the best I could, but I always felt overwhelmed and spread too thin.

My health was deteriorating. I was out of shape and privately struggling with stress-related health issues—migraines, gut problems, and getting sick all the time. I hated seeing pictures of myself, even from moments that should have been happy, like my daughter's graduation celebration. In that photo on the right, I was forcing a smile and thinking about happier times in my past just to look happy.

I was jealous of other people's happiness and felt like I was missing out. Social media made it worse. I kept working through my endless to-do list, believing that if I just accomplished more, my anxiety would finally go away.

I went to doctor after doctor looking for answers. They all told me the same thing: stress was at the root of my struggles, and until I addressed it, the mental and physical symptoms would continue. I simply did not know better ways to handle all the stress.

The problem was, I had no idea how to do that. I felt like a failure.

I needed a stress coach, and since it didn’t exist, I became one from the inside out.

I realized that I needed to change. Slowly, I discovered the tools that made all the difference.