I’m Doing All the Things. Why Don't I Feel Happy? Understanding Anhedonia in High Achievers
Have you ever looked around and thought...
"My life is good. Why don't I feel happier?"
You're getting everything done. You're responsible. You take care of everyone else. You keep pushing, accomplishing, producing, and showing up.
But somewhere along the way, life has started to feel a little...flat. Maybe even numb.
(The things that used to bring you joy don't quite land the same way. You're functioning, but you're not really feeling life.)
Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Joseph calls this anhedonia...the reduced ability to experience pleasure or joy. It often shows up in the very people others admire most: high achievers, caregivers, parents, educators, healthcare workers, and anyone who has spent years putting everyone else's needs ahead of their own.
The good news? Awareness is the first step.
Simply having a name for what you're experiencing can be incredibly freeing. Instead of assuming, "Something is wrong with me," you can begin to recognize, "My brain and nervous system may have been in survival mode for so long that I've stopped noticing the things that once brought me joy."
Being aware creates choice.
This week, I'd love to invite you to try one of Dr. Joseph's recommendations: practice savoring.
Not rushing through the good moments...
Not taking them for granted...
Actually letting yourself experience them.
Summer is overflowing with opportunities!! Here are some of my ideas to get you started, and know that I am always trying to savor: (It’s one of my secrets to finding joy, even on tough days!)
Take a slow bite of a juicy local peach and notice its sweetness. (Go buy fruit you love, and slow down to enjoy.)
Buy locally grown flowers at the Farmer’s Market. Notice the details!
Listen to live music in the park. (If this caught your eye, go look up the next gig, and put it in your calendar.)
Watch fireflies.
Pause after a summer rain and breathe in that unmistakable smell.
Notice the chorus of crickets as the sun goes down. Just go sit outside for a few minutes after dark and listen.
Take a walk through a public garden and really look at the incredible colors, shapes, and textures of the flowers. (Maybe your mission this week?)
Feel the warmth of hot sand beneath your feet.
Notice the familiar scent of sunscreen that somehow smells like vacation.
Sink into your favorite soft T-shirt after a long day.
Slow down enough to appreciate that first cold bite of ice cream.
A local bouquet! I am swooning over these!
These moments may seem small.
But they are not.
Every time you fully experience something beautiful, comforting, or meaningful, you're reminding your brain that life isn't just about getting through the day. It's also about experiencing it.
Sometimes we don't need a bigger vacation, a new job, or another accomplishment. Sometimes we simply need to become available to the life that's already happening around us.
I am here for you if you’d like help doing this. Let’s help you find more happiness before the busyness of fall kicks in.
This week, give yourself permission to slow down. Savor one beautiful moment each day. You might be surprised by how much joy has been waiting patiently for you to notice it.
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